Wednesday night’s games, Georgia shocking Portugal and Turkey’s win over the Czech Republic rescued a pretty dreary final round of fixtures. Netherlands 2 Austria 3 was the other exception, exciting late goals in Croatia vs Italy and Scotland vs Hungary papered over some cracks but mostly it was dull draws and experimental teams for the already qualified sides. And yes, starting Conor Gallagher counts as experimental for Gareth Southgate.
Then we have the farce of teams unfortunate enough to be in an alphabetically advanced group who are left uncertain of their fate for up to three days. Hungary fans left their game in Stuttgart elated with an injury-time winner against Scotland. By Wednesday night they had been eliminated.
There is a fairness issue too. Teams who play their final round of group games first do not know what they will need to qualify as one of the third-placed teams. Those who go last know exactly what is required and can plan accordingly.
Most of all, “permutations” are inherently tedious, turning a football tournament into non-verbal reasoning exercise. On Wednesday night fans were cross-referencing group tables with the live best third-placed table and attempting to figure out what it all meant for knockout round fixtures. Never mind the goals, what about some spreadsheets? That is an irritation for fans watching on TV but an ordeal for teams and supporters attempting to plan logistics for travel and accommodation. Good luck to any Slovakians attempting to find a double room in Gelsenkirchen for Sunday in the next 48 hours.
Other factors have also been blamed for the diminishing returns of the group stage. Wayne Rooney criticised a lack of tactical decisiveness. “This system which everyone seems to be playing, there’s no crosses into the box,” he said on BBC punditry duty. “I think it’s Pep’s fault,” he joked. Guardiola himself frequently bemoans the demands on players and resulting fatigue and several here have looked in need of a rest. But the real problem is a tournament set-up which rewards a conservative approach.
So how do you fix it? There is a tweak available which awards knockout spots solely on points won rather than group finishing position but that solves none of the issues of messiness and uncertainty. So really it is either bring back the 16-team Euros, a more or less perfect format, or expand to 32 teams.
The first option would mean 20 fewer games than the current tournament, the second (assuming Uefa continues to eschew a third-place play-off) 12 more. More games means more ads means more money. Take a wild guess where this will end.
The current incarnation of the Euros feels like a gateway drug to the harder stuff. A 24-team stopgap between the neat 16 and the bloated 32 which we have to endure so Uefa can claim it has no choice but to add a further eight countries to solve the problems it has created. Roll on Euro 2032 and the thrilling final group H match between Kazakhstan and Luxembourg.